Tuesday

She has institute Tuesday nights. 

And every other Tuesday she has class at 4:30. 

That means her day starts at 8:00 AM and ends around 9:00 PM. 

And then she comes home and has to plan a lesson for the next day and do some other homework. 

So she comes home from institute today, walks into her room, and....

BAM! 

On her desk there are two letters. 

TWO.

Thank you to the incredible missionaries who take time out of their Preparation Days to write Lauren Kasteler a letter and make her day that much more wonderful.

a day of thanks.

to my mother for being the strongest person i know and always being there when i need her most.

to my sister for doing things i would never think of doing.

to my brother for making me smile and having a bigger capacity to love than most 14-year-olds.

to my daddy for watching over me and being an example of a righteous, faithful, hardworking man.

to my grandparents for being very interested in my life and always loving me.

to jerrica for being goofy with me and talking with me about secrets. yours and mine.

to bethany for making me feel like an amazing person and being an example of a beautiful daughter of God.

to my roommates for accepting me and loving me.

to you for making me feel loved and being someone i don't feel i deserve.

to my oakcresties for making me want to be better and being best friends

to those guys on missions for the time you take to write me letters and the example you set for me.

to my third graders for making me laugh and stretching my patience.

to other friends and family who i am blessed to associate with for changing me for the better, and for accepting me despite my many flaws.

to my Savior for sacrificing your life so that i can be redeemed and for knowing me perfectly.

to my Heavenly Father  for these amazing people in my life.
                                    for your wonderous plan of salvation.
                                    for the tools you have given me to know it, live it, and love it.
                                    for the incredible beautiful world around me.
                                    for all of the things i am blessed with.
                                    for the opportunity to talk to you at any moment i need.
                                    for eternal families.
                                    for the covenants i have made and will someday make with you.
                                    for temples and the opportunity i have to live by so many.
                                    for the gospel.
                                    for prophets and leaders you have given to help me throughout this life.
                                    for the priesthood.
                                    for the chance i have to know so many worthy priesthood holders.
                                    for sending your son to earth.
                                    for you love.
i thank thee this day.

One Year

One year ago a part of my heart left this earth. I can't believe that it has been a year. At the same time I can't believe that it has only been a year. I think about him every single day and miss him so much. Sometimes I just want to call him on the phone or give him a big hug or snuggle up next to him and cry on his shoulder. Sometimes I get sad because I won't get to dance with him on the night of my wedding and he won't ever get to hold my children. I want to hear his laugh, I want him to brush my hair, I want him to tickle me or chase me around the house. I miss him everyday. 

I am so grateful that I was "born in the Covenant" and I know that because my parents decided to get married in the House of the Lord, I can see my daddy again. It isn't a "till death do us part" kind of thing. It is FOREVER. My family is forever.

I know that his mission in this life was over. He had done what he needed to here. Now, he is continuing to work in the Spirit world. There are things that he needs to do to help my family but that he couldn't have done while he was on earth. There are people he needs to help in the spirit world. 

He is with his sister, my Aunt Jenni. He is with his grandparents, his great grandparents, and other ancestors who went before him. And maybe he met Joseph Smith like he always dreamed he would. 

Also, I know that he is still with me. I can't see him. But sometimes I can feel him. He will be there when I get married and he will send my children love when they come to earth. He is with me when I am sad and feeling alone or confused.

I know that I will see him again. How great will that day be when I can run into his arms and give him a huge hug! I promise to live my life in a way that I can be worthy to see him and live with him again. 

it came.

First of all. 

my day was a little interesting. Not your typical run of the mill. Not bad, but a little....out of the ordinary.

Second of all. 

I went to the temple. Absolutely lovely.

Third of all.

Student.

Teaching.

Placement.

Excuse me for a second.

EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I hope that you are having a wonderful evening.

Peace and blessings.

My heart.

"When Jesus seems to be hammering you with one trial after another, remember He is the carpenter--before He is done with you, He may need to sand out some rough edges."

Unknown

Dear you, numero two.

Dear you, wanna talk?

Dear you, I don't think I deserve someone like you.

Dear you, I miss you.

Dear you, do you think about me as much as I think about you?

Dear you, what can I do to help?

Dear you, I'd really like a letter.

Dear you, I'm not particularly fond of the way you are treating her.

Dear you, why are you leaving?

Dear you, you inspire me.

Dear you, thanks for everything.

Dear you, I'm trying.

Dear you, I love you.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Tomorrow there will be a sub.

I will be in charge.

Am I stressed out a little?

Yes.

Am I excited?

Oh, Yeah.

Here goes.

The answer is always the same: TRUST

"In this life, how can there be refining fires without heat? Or greater patience without some instructive waiting? How can there be increased individual faith without some customized uncertainty?"
Neal A. Maxwell

Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.
Nevertheless-whosoever putteth his trust in him the same shall be lifted up at the last day.
Mosiah 23:21-22

November

I don't know that I'm quite ready to take on November. Unfortunately I don't really have a choice. It will be a full month in practicum. The last full month of the semester. I have so much to do it overwhelms me. And then there is that thing called the election. Yeah, I have to vote. And then I think about November last year. And that makes me not super excited to face this November. Oh, and that whole figure out my life thing, yeah, I guess I need to work on that too.

But....

I am taking life it one day at a time.

I know that I have an amazing family and friends who love me.

I know that I can do anything with Heavenly Father's help.

I know that everything will work out in His way and His time.

I am grateful for an opportunity to stretch myself and work on growing into the woman I want to be.