Fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.

President Thomas S. Monson

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Grandma's Secret

There is a certain recipe that my Grandma knows. It is a certain kind of cookie. She used to make them all the time at her job. They are absolutely fantastic. The best way to eat them is filled with ice cream. Before today she hasn't told anyone the recipe. But, today my mom and I went to her house to learn. She showed us all the tricks. The most important one being, patience. Now, I know. I know the secret.
 I'm trusting you not to tell anyone.

Happy Birthday Daddy








Monday, December 26, 2011

The Spirit of CHRIST

Well, Christmas Day is over. Presents unwrapped, food eaten, and hearts full. My heart is very full. I had a wonderful Christmas day spent with all of my incredible family.

1. This morning I opened presents with my family. Oh, man I love them. Although we feel slightly broken we are so close and know that we have eternity to look forward to.
2. Then we went to church. My home ward is definitely my ward family.  At the high school we are known as "THE WARD". We are so close. It is incredible, really. We have all been through so much together throughout the years and we would all do almost anything for each other.
3. Then my dad's entire side of the family came over which was great. We exchanged gifts. It is crazy how so many different types of people can come together with so much love.
4. Next, we went to dinner and my uncle's house with my mom's entire side of the family. We ate tons of delicious food, exchanged gifts, talked, and played games. I love these parties.
5. I finished the day the same way it started, with my mom, brother and sister. I love them. So much.

Family. Family is the perfect way to spend Christmas. The most important reason we celebrate Christmas is CHRIST. Heavenly Father sent his son to this earth, in a very humble circumstance, so he could live and die for each of us. I know that this is true. He suffered for every pain and trial and sin in our life so that we can return to His presence and live with our family for eternity. I can't think of a better Christmas present.

My Savior


Thursday, December 15, 2011

24,000 piece puzzle

Finals are over. Can I get a 'Hallelujah'? 
I drove home yesterday.
It is great to be with my family. Oh, how I love them so.
I already miss my good friends. 
And I miss my even better friends even more.
Home-cooked meals. Ah.
I have much to do before the 25th of December.
And even more to do before the ninth of January.
I am SO excited to be a UTF next semester!
My hair is driving me crazy tonight.
If anyone has any books that they recommend, hit me up.
I love spending time with my momma. My best friend.
I can't believe that Christmas is in nine days. Woah. 
The most wonderful time of the year is going by way too fast.



Friday, December 9, 2011

Dec. 8

I am currently sitting on Melissa's couch. We are listening to Michael Buble's beautiful voice. None of us are talking. It is just nice to be together. I love my friends.

Earlier tonight Jer, Jen, Kenz, and I went to a FREE preshowing of New Year's Eve.  It was soooo good! I really enjoyed it. It had an amazing cast and a great mixture of moments that make you cry, moments that make you smile, and moments that make you laugh. I really liked it.

Tomorrow is the last day of the semester. Finals are next week. I'm not worried about any of them actually, I hope that doesn't come back to haunt me. I am excited to go home and spend time with my family.

I love this season. I love my friends. I love my bed. Goodnight :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Dear Readers


Dear Readers,

Help me Spread the Word to End the Word. I invite you to be a fan of respect and join me in an on-going campaign to stop the use of the word ‘retard(ed)’ or as we call it, the “R-word.” The “R-word” is hate speech that is offensive, incorrect, derogatory, spreads hurt, and ignores individuality. Over 225,000 people have pledged their support since the campaign launched in 2009, and I hope you can join me by making your pledge to end the use of the R-word.

Please visit www.r-word.org and take the pledge and pass this email along to all your friends so together we can create communities of acceptance and inclusion for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.

Much Love,
Lauren Kasteler

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

It's one of those moments where you really want to talk to your mom but it is 11:30 at night and you know she should be sleeping. You don't even know what you would say to her but you just want to hear her voice. Maybe you will just tell her about your day and about the people in your life. She would listen to everything you have to say because even though she is hurting more than you could ever imagine, she is your mom and she would do anything to make you happy. She would ask you if you need anything and you would say,"No, I'm doing alright" even though you wish she was here to give you a hug. She would tell you that she loves you and misses you and it means so much to you that it makes you start crying, but you try not to show it. You try to be strong, for her, even though it is conversations like this that remind you how much you need her.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Hello.

My name is Lauren Kasteler. In case you forgot. I am incredibly sorry for my lack in updating you on my life. Life is crazy. It has been crazy. Pretty much everything in all my classes was due today so this past week has been really busy. So....in a nuttshell here are some updates:

Last Monday I took my Psychology final.
I was only there for one of the three lectures.
I didn't do very well.
Tuesday I made my mom's lasagna. Delicious.
I've been eating lasagna almost everyday since then.
Wednesday wasn't a very good day.
I got a letter from a certain missionary.
I cried the whole time I read it.
Thursday was my last day of practicum. Bittersweet.
That means that this week I don't have anything to do!
Don't worry, I made a pretty good "To Do" list.
Yes, blogging is on that list.
Friday I had an hour long group presentation.
It went fan-tas-tic.
Religion In Life was splendid.
I took a wonderous nap.
Jerrica danced her heart away at the Institute International Talent show.
I worked on a lot of homework this weekend.
And watched a lot of movies.
Saturday we made banana boats. Delicious.
My throat didn't even itch!
I called and talked to my mom when I was sad.
She reminded me that I still needed to give her a Christmas List.
It was really hard.
I emailed it to her.
She told me that it was pathetic.
It has been so hard to come up with things I want this year.
Sunday was Grand.
Sundays usually are.
Today was the last Monday of the semester.
The last 10:30-6:30 day.
What a relief.
I was mentioned on Bethie's blog.
Even better, she called to talk to me.
Still haven't had dinner.
I have one piece of lasagna left.
I love my friends.
In less than two weeks we will go home for Christmas.
One of them won't be back.
I'm really gonna miss her!
She promised to frequently drive up from Ogden to visit us.
I am so excited that it is the Christmas season!
I love my Savior and I love celebrating his birth.

Anyway, thanks for reading.
I promise to update you more often.
Oh, and here is a video I would like to share with you all.
Merry Christmas.


Sunday, November 27, 2011

How do you spell pomegranate?

So....Today Jerrica and I drove back up to Logan. Oh how I have missed this place. My mom let me take one of the HUGE pomegranates that she had. So, as Jerrica was making herself dinner, I went to work on the massive winter fruit. Success! It is super delicious (I am saving the rest for breakfast in the morning). I hope this picture of the juicy jewels makes your mouth water.

On a side note, there are only two weeks left of school. Wow, I am going to have a party making up for the two and a half weeks I have missed and preparing for numerous projects and finals. Blah. Wish me luck.

Lots of love to you all.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Highlights of my weekend.

Spending almost every second with my family.

NOT dying when I drove home to Sandy at 3:30 in the morning.

Getting a nice visit from Elder W. Craig Zwick.

Hugging a million people I have never met.

Having understanding professors.

Finishing the Hunger Games.

Getting to see Lexie Berrett and Tiffany Bond.

Bethie bringing me a Jamba Juice.

Jer, Melissa, Jen, Josh, and Dallin coming all the way from Logan to see me.

Oreo truffles and a super soft blanket.

Getting Elder Zwick to stick out his tongue, along with hundreds of other people. No big deal.


I'm sorry to all you bloggers for slacking in my posts lately. I will try to be better.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A True Friend

She came to my house to bring me a Jamba Juice. 
Not just me, but she brought one for each member of my family. 
She came and talked to me. 
About anything.
But she didn't mention the sad stuff until I brought it up.
She was just there as a friend.
We talked about Boys.
School.
Family.
Missionaries.
Everything.
We laughed.
She makes me super happy.
I miss her when she is in Provo and I am in Logan.
I love best friends.
Thank you Bethie.

Friday, November 18, 2011

My Hero

David R. Kasteler, age 44, born December 28, 1966, died of cancer at his home on November 18, 2011. Son of Rodger David and Emma Lou Swinyard Kasteler, husband of Lisa Scharffs Kasteler, father of Lauren, Maegan, and Spencer David Kasteler, brother of Lee (Lucé) Kasteler, Lynda (Christian) Jensen, Jeffrey (Jodie) Kasteler, and Michael “Mika” Kasteler, he was preceded in death by his sister, Jennifer Kasteler, and his grandparents.
Dave attended Olympus High School and graduated from Skyline High School. He served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Alabama, Birmingham, where he met his future wife and fellow missionary, Lisa. They were married in the Salt Lake Temple in August, 1999. Dave graduated from BYU in Construction Management and supervised commercial construction projects in Northern California, Utah, and throughout the Intermountain West.
He was an avid scouter for over 20 years and received many awards for his service including the Silver Beaver. Over 40 boys received their Eagle under his direction. He was on the board for the Great Salt Lake Council and served on numerous committees and projects.
Funeral services will be held on Monday, November 21, 2011 at 11:00 a.m. at the Lone Peak Stake Center, 11570 South Wasatch Blvd (3600 East). A viewing will be held on Sunday, November 20, from 6-8 p.m. at Larkin Sunset Gardens, 1950 East, 10600 South, in Sandy, Utah, also from 9:30-10:30 prior to services at the church. In lieu of flowers donations can be made to the Alta High School Fundraiser benefiting Huntsman Cancer Foundation at www.huntsmancancerfoundation.org/altahigh.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

You find out who you're friends are.

You find out who you're friends are.
Somebody's gonna drop everything,
Run out and crank up their car,
Hit the gas, get there fast.
Never stop to think "what's in it for me?" or "it's way too far"
They just show on up with their big old heart.
You find out who you're friends are.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Good hair day? I think, yes.

I love getting compliments on my hair from random strangers. Yup, confidence boost.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I've been sitting 
in front of this computer screen 
for almost ten minutes 
trying to come up with 
something to blog about. 
Sorry. 
I got nothin.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

The Beauty of a Woman

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.


"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Tonight's Musings

I don't really know what to say. 

Thank you all for being amazing, supportive, great people.

I got all my homework done.

I miss my friends in Logan.

Last night I got to spend the night with my best friend Bethie.

We went to BYU Divine Comedy. So funny.

Nine hours yesterday.

Eight hours today.

My heart hurts.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Best. Roommate. Ever.


Yes, this morning I woke up to this lovely surprise on my desk. Who left it there? You guessed it, Jerrica Ciel Osmun. She noticed yesterday that I was having a really hard day. She bought some of my favorite things for me even before she knew why I was upset. What a thoughtful, kind, amazing friend I have!

Dear Jerrica,
Thank you for being one of my best friends. You make my life so much brighter and I am so grateful for you in my life. Thank you for always being there. Thank you for loving me and trusting me. It means a lot. I don't know what I would do without your friendship.
Sincerely, Lauren

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Just Fishin'


And she thinks we're just fishin' by the riverside, 
throwing back what we could fry, 
drowning worms and killing time.
Nothing too ambitious.
She ain't even thinkin' 'bout 
what's really going on right now 
but I guarantee this memory's a big'un.
And she thinks we're just fishin'.
Trace Adkins

Monday, November 7, 2011

Just Keep Swimming

Life is hard.
Sometimes you have to scream into your pillow.
Sometimes you have to take a few deep breaths.
Sometimes you need to lock yourself in your room.
Sometimes you have to cry your eyes out.
Sometimes you have to smile and pretend everything is alright.
Sometimes you have to sing primary songs or hymns to yourself.
Sometimes you have to do homework to get your mind off other things.
Sometimes all you need is a hug.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Miss Matched


Those who know me really well know that I LOVE socks. I have a lot of great pairs of socks. This is one of my favorite. They are different but they still match! Yes, I did buy them this way. I'm wearing them right now. And they make me smile. A lot.  

I went home today. We had our family pictures taken. It was awesome to be with my family for the day. I love them a lot. And my mom gave me a bunch of food. She is the best mother ever. No battle.

And now I'm with some really great friends. (Procrastinating my homework)
 :) :) :)

Saturday, November 5, 2011

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas

I am quite sorry for my decrease in blog posts this past week. (Well, I don't know how many people would even notice. I can probably count my consistent readers on one hand.) Anyway, I have been SUPER busy.

It snowed today! Wahoo! I actually really love the snow. Yeah it's cold, and it isn't fun to scrape it off of your car at 7:00 in the morning (especially in Logan), and after it has been there a while it looks really gross because of the pollution, but other than that I think it is so fun and beautiful! I love how the snow makes everything look so magical and I love playing in the snow: snowball fights, sledding, ice skating, skiing.

In celebration of the snow I am currently listening to Christmas Music. Please don't judge me because of that. I know a lot of people get annoyed with people who listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but I don't mind. I really love the ENTIRE  holiday season. That includes Thanksgiving. There just isn't a whole lot of good Thanksgiving music. Anyway, I'll Be Home For Christmas. :)

This morning at 8:00 I went with Jerrica, Mike, Cameron and Eric to a place. A secret place. It may or may not have had a No Trespassing sign on it. Anyway, we went there because Mike is an awesome photographer. He needed models and since we are The Best Friends Ever, we were his models. I'm not too good at the whole model face thing but it was so fun! It was cold as well. But the fresh snow made for some amazing pictures! At one point Mike told us to have a snowball fight for a couple pictures. I wanted my mittens to stay dry so I could put them on after the snowball fight so I participated in the snowball fight with bare hands. Painful! My hands were so cold and I could not even feel them. I'm excited to see all those amazing pictures, Mike.

I think the snow is so pretty. Absolutely beautiful. I once had a seminary teacher share something about snow with my class. He compared snow to the Atonement. The snow covers the ground, the trees, the cars, everything. Likewise, the Atonement covers everything in our lives. It covers our pain, our sins, our heartaches, our imperfections, our fears, our trials, everything. I know that the Atonement covers all of the horrible things in life, and because of it I can return to live with my Heavenly Father again. My Savior made it possible. When it snows, I think of my Savior, his sacrifice for all mankind, and this glorious Plan of Salvation.

Have I told you yet how ECSTATIC I am for the Holidays?!
Hallelujah!!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I'm Just Keeping Up With Myself!

Someone once told me that and I love it. 

You don't have to be someone you're not. You don't have to be the best of the best. You just have to be YOU. 

I have a hard time with this because I always want to be the best. I have been like this all throughout my education. 

I guess it is good because it motivates me to work harder. But I need to stop comparing myself to people. I just have to be the best ME I can possibly be.

So....now I am going to try my hardest to stop comparing myself to others. 
I'm just keeping up with myself!


On a couple different notes.....

I'm enjoying my practicum class a lot. I love my second graders! I love learning how to be a better teacher. After tomorrow there will only be three weeks left. I can't believe it.

I currently have homework coming out of my ears and eyeballs. Don't ask me how it feels.

Jer and I decided that it would be absolutely wonderful if some good friends of ours would spontaneously come visit us. That would be grand.

I like sleeping with the window cracked open. Otherwise it is so hot in here! Luckily, Kenzee likes it too.

I went to the library tonight. I was actually productive (most of the time). 

I really like glitter art projects and shaving cream fights.

My sunglasses broke. This saddens my heart.

I am really thankful for my friends. You know who you are. Thank you. For always being there for me. I don't quite know what I would do without the support of my fabulous friends.

I made my friend a birthday present. Unfortunately she lives in Provo so I haven't had a chance to give it to her yet. Even though her birthday was a week and a half ago.

Three months from this day I will turn twenty-years-old.

One of my second graders asked me today if I have a boyfriend. Wanna know what I told them?

I am really looking forward to the holiday season. I am excited to go home and spend almost every waking hour with my incredible family.

Thank you for your time.

Monday, October 31, 2011

There is Sunshine in my Soul Today

Good hair day.

Missed my family. Lots.

Got to hear the prophet speak.

Cried for a while.

Got our "roommate pictures" taken.

Felt lonely for a few moments.

Talked to my beloved family.

Watched Cinderella Man for the first time. A feel good movie.

Was edified and uplifted by President Simmons and President Taylor. 

Just what I needed.


Finished filling up an entire notebook of things that are sacred and dear to my heart.

Spent the evening with some lovely friends.


Resolved to be a better friend, daughter, and sister.

Resolved to go to the temple as often as I can. There I can find comfort and answers to my prayers.

Resolved to reach out to those around me. Everyone around me is fighting their own battles. I will do what I can to help.

Resolved to put all my trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He will make my burdens light.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

I Cleaned The Sink

It's kind of a big deal.
Today was Eric's birthday. So Jerrica, Cameron, Melissa, Eric, and I cleaned the sink at Angie's! Dallin and Mike cleaned a sink. And Heather, Josh, Tim, and Becca cleaned a sink too!  It was so fun and quite delicious! 
Happy Birthday Eric!

Still smilin'!
Can I just say.....I love my friends!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

When I'm Better

You know how sometimes when you are sick, all you want to do is go home and be with your mom? 
I can't do that. 

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Friend: (n) a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard

I have the best friends and family. They are always there for me. They send me nice messages, emails, and letters that make my day. They know how to say and spell my name. They make me smile. They care about me. They watch Titanic with me. They let me cry on their shoulder.They love me because I'm me. They give me a handful tissues when I run out. They would do anything for me. They have girl talk with me. They give me back rubs. They help me when I need it. They tickle me (only sometimes). They tell me everything will be alright. They write blog posts about me without actually saying it is me. They give me hugs, sometimes when I'm having a hard time, sometimes for no reason. They give me socks for my birthday. They are here for me when I am sick. They make me want to be my best. They tell me I am beautiful and strong even when I don't feel that way.

To those of you who have contributed.....I love you. (And in some cases....glove you)

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

So, I realized today....

....that lately I have done mostly random blog posts. So here is a life update.

School is crazy.....so crazy. Next week I have two exams and a research paper due. On top of my regular homework.

I started practicum in the elementary school today. I think I'm going to like it. Definitely different than preschool.

I'm sick. Sinus infection, I believe. And it is not fun.

Sometimes I have moments like this where I wish I had that special someone to give me butterflies, cuddle with, and tell me that everything will be alright.

I miss some people. Like my missionaries. And my family.

I am currently wearing socks with pink flamingos on them. And I love them.

My dating life is nonexistent.

I wish my smart water would make me smarter.

My neighbor has the first four seasons of Chuck. I love it.

I need to work out more. Not only do I need the exercise but I think it would help me emotionally as well.

I have great friends that I can count on at almost any moment.


I know my Savior lives and he loves me. He is helping me to become the best ME I can possibly be.
I trust him.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Tears

“There is a sacredness in tears; they are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, deep contrition, and unspeakable love."
Washington Irving

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Here ya go, here is a piece of my heart.

Alrighty, so I have decided to share my essay with all my lovely blog readers. If you didn't get a chance to read the story behind the essay then click here and read under "Third Item of Business". This is very, VERY personal to me, but I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone might find some sort of comfort or peace from it's words. If you would like to comment, I would love to hear what you think about it. It is a little bit long but I sincerely hope that you enjoy it.

Here it is:
ENIGMA: By Lauren Kasteler
He was John Spilsbury, an engraver and mapmaker in London. In 1760 he decided to mount one of his maps to a sheet of hardwood. He then proceeded to cut around the borders of all the countries with a fine-bladed marquetry saw. His end product became an educational pastime known as puzzles that were used to teach children about geography. These jigsaw puzzles were mainly used as educational tools until about 1820. In the late 1800s puzzles made of plywood and cardboard were introduced. People soon figured out that you could make the pieces smaller and the puzzles would appeal to adults as well as children. Puzzles started to gain popularity as a pastime for entertainment rather than education.  
*
        “Lauren, I need you to come home this weekend. I need to see you.” It was Friday and I had just returned to my dormitory from lunch when I got the call. Something was wrong. I turned around and left the room because I had a feeling this was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of my roommate. I didn’t even stop to grab a pair of shoes. I went outside and started pacing. The weather was beautiful, the October sun was shining and the trees were painted shades of autumn. A chill ran down my spine as I felt the cool but welcome breeze. I asked him what was wrong. “I have cancer,” was his response.
He started telling me the few details the doctors had given him. He was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. The lesions had spread to his liver, back, and lymph nodes. That explained the back pain he had been having lately. He told me that without treatment the life expectancy is one year. With treatment the average life expectancy with his condition is three years. I got off the phone and didn’t know what to do so I walked around campus and cried for almost two hours. What do you do when you find out that your hero is diagnosed with cancer?
*
        I come to the sky bridge and see the reason I came here. A huge area of colors is on the wall up ahead. This isn’t anything like the other artwork that is displayed. This is The World’s Largest Puzzle. I finally reach it and stand back to look at the entire thing. So much is going on. Fish, planets, ocean, animals, sail boats, and hot air balloons are the first things I notice.
A frail looking lady walks by. Her face is covered in worry lines and wrinkles. She notices that I am looking at the puzzle so she turns her head to gaze at the work of art as she walks past. I wonder what is going on in her mind. What does she think about as she looks at the overwhelming detail in the artwork? She continues on her way and I resume looking at the puzzle.
There is a light house and a rainbow in the middle of the puzzle. It makes me wonder if each part of the puzzle has a special meaning. What was the artist thinking when he created this masterpiece?
*
According to the Oxford English Dictionary a jigsaw puzzle is defined as a puzzle formed by cutting into small irregular pieces (orig. with a jig-saw) a picture mounted on a sheet of wood, cardboard, or the like. Puzzle is defined as a puzzling or perplexing question; a difficult problem; a person who or thing which is hard to understand; an enigma. The Oxford English Dictionary also has another entry for puzzle: Something devised or made for the purpose of testing one’s ingenuity, knowledge, patience, etc.; a toy or problem of this kind.
Therefore, a jigsaw puzzle is a confusing and perplexing set of different shaped pieces that can only be put together in a certain way, created in order to test some one's patience, understanding, and cleverness. So why do humans enjoy giving themselves intricate and complex problems to solve?
*
It was 5:45 in the morning. Most people don’t want to wake up that early during winter break but I told my dad I would. He calls it “Poison Monday.” I got ready and gathered my laptop, a magazine, and my iPod. We got into the car and started on our way. We stopped at Phillips 66 so he could get a Diet Coke. A few hours later he would not be able to stand the cold temperature of a soda. My dad used to be the one who always turned up the air conditioner when everyone else wanted to curl up in a blanket.
        We finally pulled into the parking garage. We were a little early and the clinic was dark. The secretary arrived and we got checked in and waited for the nurse to call us back. Keen, my dad’s favorite nurse, came and took us to the back. The infusion center was coming to life. My dad chose chair seven because he likes the view out the window. He sat down in the tan recliner next to his pump and I sat down next to him. This was my first time at the infusion center and I was quite intrigued with everything that was happening. Keen washed her hands and accessed the port in his chest. She took his blood and then hooked him up to the machine to pump hydration fluids into his body. Then we had to wait for the blood work to come back.
        They checked his white blood cell count and other levels in his blood to make sure he was healthy enough to receive the treatment. When the results came back everything was good to go. Keen hooked him up to the machine again. This time, corrosive chemotherapy drugs dripped into his system instead of the harmless and even helpful hydration fluids.
*
On the right of the puzzle is a plaque. I walk over to read what it says. “Life by Royce B. McClure.” I can’t help but think about the significance of word “Life” in this place. Isn’t that one of the things humans want the most, a long, prosperous life? I strive to live my life to the fullest. But what if I was told that my life would be shortened? How would I cope with that news? What would I tell my family?
The next thing the plaque says is, “The world’s largest jigsaw puzzle-24,000 pieces.” I remember the last time I put together a puzzle that had 500 pieces. I cannot even imagine assembling a puzzle 48 times larger.
“Built by James Huffman, age 18 (2009).” This puzzle was put together by someone who is younger than I am. How does an eighteen-year-old kid have the patience to construct a 24,000 piece puzzle? It says that he was assisted by his brothers Christopher and Mark and that all three of the boys are the grandsons of Jon M. and Karen Huntsman. That explains the puzzle’s connection to this place.
The plaque says that the easiest part to build was the animals and the most difficult part was the underwater city. Underwater city? I don’t even remember there being an underwater city. I look and sure enough, in the bottom right hand corner, there is an underwater city. I can see why that was the hardest part. The pieces are all different shades of blue. After studying the underwater city for a few minutes I look back at the plaque.
“Jon M. Huntsman bought this puzzle in Los Angeles as a joke for his grandsons, never dreaming they would finish it.” I would laugh in my grandfather’s face if he handed me a 24,000 piece puzzle. The task to build it would be very daunting, especially for an eighteen-year-old. Yet I find that I am grateful that James took his grandfather’s challenge to construct the world’s largest puzzle.
James even said, “I would build it again tomorrow.” I’m sure that James had an incredible experience building the puzzle despite the difficulty and the hundreds of hours it took to complete. I think again of the title “Life”.  Life is fragile and takes a lot of work.  I wonder if at the end of “Life” we will say “I would build it again tomorrow.”
*
When humans have a lot on their mind they need some way to relieve the stress and tension, a way to get their mind off of their troubles. Different people have different ways they find useful to combat stress. Some people read, some exercise, some meditate, and some people pull out their jigsaw puzzles. The Great Depression was a huge anxiety that people definitely didn’t want to think about. Puzzles helped people cope with their stress in a variety of ways.
The Great Depression brought on a puzzle craze in the United States. The puzzle peak was in 1933 when sales reached ten million per week. In 1932 the “Jig of the Week” was started. The weekly jigsaw puzzle sold for 25 cents and people rushed to buy them and be the first of their friends to complete it.  
Puzzle themes were also very influential during the Great Depression. According to Mary Jane, in her article “The History of Wooden Puzzles,” the puzzles reflected “sentimental scenes, curiosity for technology, and the industry for railroad and shipping for marketing purposes.” These themes provided an escape from hard economic troubles and unemployment.
        During hard times it is also nice to have someone you can trust whom you can turn to. More times than not, your family can provide the support you need. The jigsaw puzzle helped to hold families together during the Great Depression. The family could sit together, grow closer, and gain strength from each other as they worked on a puzzle.
Completing a jigsaw puzzle also gave a person a sense of accomplishment that wasn’t often found when unemployment was over twenty-five percent. Instead of going to movies, restaurants, and night clubs, people would sit at home and work on puzzles. Anne D. Williams, the leading American authority on jigsaw puzzles, believed that this escape gave people an opportunity to succeed in a modest way. Any hardship can become just a tiny bit easier or any worry can be relieved when you have a way to alleviate some of the stress.
*
        I was having a bad day. It was the summer before I came to college. The weather was warm, sunny, and dry. I was dealing with some friend drama, had a bad day at work, and was stressed about going to college and moving out. All I wanted to do was be alone in my room. Dad wouldn’t let that happen. Mom let him know that I had been having a bad day so he came into my room and said, “Let’s go get some ice cream.” I don’t know if I was just overly emotional that day but this simple gesture brought tears to my eyes. We got into my car and he asked me where I wanted to go.
I drove down 12300 South and he asked, “What is on your mind?” It all came pouring out. I told him of my bad day at work and how frustrated I was with my job. I told him of the problems I had been having with my friends, how I was concerned about them and the choices they were making. I told him how I felt like I was growing apart from them. It hurt my heart to feel this disparity and separation from them. He just listened. Then, when I was finished, he assured me that everything was going to be okay. “You only have a couple weeks left, and then you can start out new in Logan” he told me. He told me that it was alright that I was growing apart from my friends. We were all going our separate ways, to different colleges, to different futures. Even though it hurt, he reassured me that everything would work out in the end.
We arrived at Cold Stone. I ordered my usual: “Birthday Cake Remix.” He ordered his usual: vanilla with Heath Bar pieces. We went outside to the back of the building and found a table. We didn’t talk anymore about my stresses of the day, for which I was truly grateful. We talked about other things, joked around, and discussed upcoming events.
He held my hand and gave me a hug. He comforted me in ways that no one else really can. Even though my problems were quite small, my daddy knew that they were important to me at the time. How insignificant and silly those problems seem now, as he is fighting the biggest fight that he has ever encountered.
*
After I finish reading the plaque I stare back at the puzzle. This time, I study it from up close. I see many other things that I never noticed the first time I glanced at it.
On the left there are all the different animals: flamingos, hippos, giraffes, elephants, zebras, monkeys, lions, tigers, penguins, bears, camels, horses, donkeys, cheetahs, lions, ducks, seals, walruses, lizards, beavers, swans, pelicans, foxes, turtles, kangaroos, snakes, raccoons, and even some animals I recognize but can’t remember their names. There is even an animal that looks slightly like a prehistoric reptile, a dinosaur. I wonder why the artist would put an extinct animal in a painting entitled “Life”. Maybe it represents a conclusion. That at some point life must come to an end. On the other hand, maybe it shows that life never ends. Maybe the whole painting represents the artist’s depiction of the life extending beyond death and that even extinct animals will live in harmony with all creatures.
At the bottom of the painting the ocean is full of color. I don’t know the names of all the fish and sea creatures but I am in admiration of all the different shapes, colors, and sizes. Each one is unique and has a different expression. There is so much life in their eyes and I can almost see their personality through their facial expressions. The color and variety is incredible. This brings me back to the underwater city and I am in amazement once again of the detail. Then I get to thinking, “There isn’t any life in this underwater scene. The buildings are all abandoned and broken. The bridge and the statues are in pieces. What happened to this city? Why is it abandoned? Where did the life go that was once there?”
The space section is majestic and magical.  There are so many dreamlike shapes and colors. There are stars, galaxies, nebulas, and many more space creations of which I don’t know the names. There are many planets, more than just the nine I learned about in elementary school. It makes me think about how life is so much bigger than you and I. There are so many of God’s creations that are out there. It makes me and my burdens feel very inconsequential.
Finally, the center of the puzzle includes a lighthouse. There is a swarm of butterflies flying around the lighthouse. Butterflies are exuberant and full of life. They grow up as tiny little caterpillars and at some point they envelop themselves in a cocoon. They emerge as stunning new creatures. They are ready to explore the world and are changed for the better.
There is a huge rainbow above the lighthouse and animals. As I look closer I notice that it is actually a double rainbow. There is another, more faint rainbow above. Rainbows remind me how incredible God and his creations are. After a horrible storm God creates a rainbow to show the world that everything is going to be alright. Seeing this rainbow in the puzzle reminds me that everything will work out. The rain doesn’t last forever and with my Heavenly Father’s help I can face any obstacle that comes my way. He loves me and is always there when I need him the most. Storms pass, and the world becomes new.

Works Cited
"History of The Jigsaw Puzzle." Welcome to Berkshire Puzzle Co. Jigsaw Puzzles. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.berkshirepuzzles.com>.
Jane, Mary. "The History of Wooden Puzzles." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! 6 June 2010. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.ehow.com>.
McAdam, Daniel. "Puzzle History." American Jigsaw Puzzle Society. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.jigsaw-puzzle.org>.
Simpson, J. A., E. S. C. Weiner, and Michael Proffitt. Oxford English D ictionary. Oxford [England: Clarendon, 1993. Print.
Williams, Anne D. "Jigsaw Puzzle History - The History of the Jigsaw Puzzle - Anne D. Williams - Jigsaw Puzzles History and Origins." MGC Custom Made Wooden Jigsaw Puzzles. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.mgcpuzzles.com>.

Oh, and to those of you who read it, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Somebody to Love

Someone who I can tell everything to.
Someone who will hold me when I need to cry.
Someone who will make me laugh.
Someone who will tell me that everything is going to work out.
Someone who makes me want to be better.
Someone who will take me out on dates.
Someone who is kind and thoughtful.
Someone who tells me I am beautiful.
Someone who accepts me for who I am.
Someone who gives really great hugs.
Someone who is honest.
Someone who wants to be with me all the time.
Someone who is full of faith.
Someone who knows something is bothering me even if I don't tell them.
Someone who works hard.
Someone who honors his priesthood.
Someone who is taller than I am.
Someone who is sweet.
Someone who loves little children.
Someone who loves the Gospel.
Someone who loves me.
Someone.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I went home yesterday, unexpectedly. I was only there for the day. It was too short. I hate leaving my family. Especially my father. 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Thoughts of the Moment

First Item of Business
Today was the last day of preschool. It makes me quite sad. All those children that I have just barely gotten to really know and who finally feel comfortable with us. Their sticky fingers, their little innocent faces, and their infectious smiles. I will miss them.
Now it is time to move on. Time to get to know some second graders. What a change that will be. Two-year-olds to seven-year-olds. Preschool to public school. I'm excited. And nervous. I don't know what will happen. What if I don't like it? What if I like preschool more?

Second Item of Business
Have
you
ever
just
wanted
someone
to
text
or
call
you
for
no
reason?
Just
to
say
"Hey,
How
are
you
doing?"

Third Item of Business I know the paragraph is long, but please read it.
Once upon a time, a girl wrote an essay. She wrote it for a ENGL 2010 class. Usually, she doesn't really like research papers. This one was different. Initially, she dreaded it and didn't want to write it. It was a completely different style than she had ever known so she didn't know how to go about it. One day, it hit her. She got an amazing idea and was actually excited about the essay. She wrote it. Edited it a whole bunch. Finally, it was finished. She turned it in to her teacher. Her teacher loved it and gave her an A+. Wow. The girl was very quite pleased. She was even more surprised when the professor announced that one essay from the class would be entered into an essay contest and read in front of a bunch of people. He picked hers. She was overjoyed. But kind of nervous. The essay content and subject was extremely personal to her. She wrote about something very dear to her heart. She read it in front of all those people. At the end, they called about six essay writers back up to the stage. Her name was called. These six essay writers were awarded $150 and were told that their essays were moving up to the next step of the judging. Wow. She never imagined that writing an essay for her English class would win her $150. Her essay didn't go any farther than that, it didn't get published. But, her father was so proud of it that he told everyone about it. His parents, doctors, neighbors. She doesn't even know how many people ended up reading it. She decided though, that even though the essay was very personal, it was alright that people were reading it. Hopefully someone found some kind of comfort or peace from it's words.

Well, I'm sure you can guess that this girl is me. I have been having the thoughts and feelings lately that maybe I should share this essay on my blog. My mind has argued back and forth for a couple weeks now and I still don't know if I have made my mind up.

So.....fellow bloggers, I want to ask you. Should I post it? Would that be something you would be interested in reading? It is kind of a long essay but maybe you might enjoy it. Let me know what you think.