Lately, I have felt busy every moment. Then, I will have a moment when I take a breath and feel like I should be doing something. Sometimes I even feel like I'm forgetting to something. Like today. I needed to be doing something but I couldn't remember what it was. Oops.
Then there are times at 9:00 when I sit down and suddenly feel exhausted. Maybe I'm tired because it has been a busy week. And today was the teacher fair. Oh, the teacher fair. I don't think I want to say too much about it right now. Except I loved the outfit I wore. Seriously, it was very professional and very me. And....I stood out.
I think that I need to remember to make decisions for myself. What I do in my life mostly shouldn't depend on what outside parties think. I have to do what is best for me. Especially at this time in my life. I don't have children, a husband, or even a boyfriend that I need to take into account when making decisions. I am a single lady of 21 years and I have the world at my fingertips. It doesn't matter what other people think is best for me. What matters is what is really best for me. That, my friends, is between me and my Heavenly Father.
Sometimes I feel like I have an adult life. I go to "work" everyday (aka student teaching) from 7:15 a.m. to about 3:00 p.m. Then I come home, make myself some food, check my email, maybe go to the temple or run other errands. I do things for my calling, plans some lessons, go the gym, do the dishes, or my laundry. You get the idea. Well....I like it. Except for the part where I don't really have a social life because I try to go to bed early.
I have moments of clarity where I can see how I am doing in my life and I make goals to be better. Sometimes, I get through the day and I don't think I've made any progress. There are moments where I feel like a complete failure.
You want to know something my institute teacher told us last night? "If you could see yourself as God sees you, you would never have a depressed day in your life." Isn't that incredible? Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ see me as I can become. It is about time for me to see myself in that way. Also, I need to work on seeing other people in that way as well. Because I have no idea what they are going through and as many times as I have felt the everlasting love of my Savior they have probably felt it too. You might have felt it. If you haven't, you can. Just ask him. Tell him you want to feel His love. He loves every single person perfectly. What an awesome thought.
I miss my best friends a little bit. Maybe a lot. You know who you are.
Maybe I want to go to sleep. Maybe I need to do an assignment before I can go to bed. Maybe I decided to blog instead. That's more important than sleep, right?
I am the team captain of a Relay for Life team. Which is incredible really. I'm so excited. The only problem is that I don't have enough team members. And I haven't been doing very well about fundraising.
I'm thinking that this is getting very long.
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