My Birthday Wish

People keep asking me what I want for my Birthday. This is a really hard question for me. I have a hard time because I am turning 20. It's a big deal. So I want to get something fun. But, I'm too practical. Blah. What to do? So here is my list. Feel free to get me anything on this list.

Solve world hunger
A million dollars
A boyfriend
A trip to Europe
World peace
A shopping spree

Good luck :)

Sunshine

"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." 

Lately I have been thinking about my attitude towards life. I don't want to be the kind of person who looks at life with the glass half empty. I want to be someone that people talk to and then later say, "She is so happy and positive!" I feel like I am usually a pretty happy person but lately I have let that quality slip through the cracks a little bit.

I was taught once that we need to do four things in order to be happy.
1. Adapt to changes in our lives
2. Realize what is most important
3. Express gratitude
4. Find joy in the journey

These aren't always easy things to do. I am continually putting my faith in the Lord and I know that everything happens for a reason. He knows exactly what he is doing and all I need to do is trust in his Love and I will be able to get through all the challenges and changes in my life.

I am so grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my body, blessings, friends, family, opportunities, and my Heavenly Father. I'm grateful that I can wake up each morning in a warm bed, walk into my kitchen to eat some breakfast, and then take a hot shower. I'm grateful for five wonderful roommates that have become amazing friends. I'm grateful that we can laugh and cry together. I'm grateful for my beautiful family. I'm grateful for my mother who is my best friend. I can tell her anything. I'm grateful for my father who is my hero. I'm grateful for my sister who puts so much on her plate and manages to get it all done. What an example to me. I'm grateful for my brother, my "camoman". He is so fun to spend time with. I'm grateful that I get to spend eternity with my family. I'm grateful for the gospel that reassures me everyday of that fact. I'm grateful for a Savior and brother, Jesus Christ who lived, suffered, died, and rose on the third day. He did that for you and me. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father gave us the Book of Mormon to receive words of wisdom and help in our lives. I'm grateful that the Lord lets me talk to him at any moment when I need him most. I'm grateful that he gives us prophets, apostles, and other leaders to help us stay on the straight and narrow path. I am grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me more than I will ever understand. For these most important things, I am grateful.

So, I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to be grateful and find joy in every aspect of my life.

"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but what happens inside of you."

Just Playing

I was given this poem in class yesterday. Can I just say that I believe in this wholeheartedly and I can't wait to be at teacher!

Just Playing 

When I'm a building in the block room,
Please don't say, "I'm just playing"
For, you see, I'm learning as I play
About balance and shapes.

When I'm getting all dressed up,
Setting the table, caring for the babies,
Don't get the idea I'm "just playing."
I may be a mother or a father someday.

When you see me up to my elbows in paint,
Or standing at an easel, or molding and shaping clay,
Please don't let me hear you say, "He's just playing"
For you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm expressing myself and being creative.
I may be an artist or an inventor someday.

When you see me sitting in a chair
"Reading" to an imaginary audience,
Please don't laugh and think I'm, "just playing"
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a teacher someday.

When you see me combing the bushes for bugs,
Or packing my pockets with choice things I find,
Don't pass it off as "just playing."
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I may be a scientist someday.

When you see me engrossed in a puzzle,
Or "plaything" at my school,
Please don't feel the time is wasted in "play"
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to solve problems and concentrate.
I may be in business someday.

When you see me cooking or tasting foods,
Please don't think that because I enjoy it, it is just "play"
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning how my body works.
I may be a doctor, nurse, or athlete someday.

When you ask me what I've done at school today,
And I say "I played,"
Please don't misunderstand me.
For, you see, I'm learning as I play.
I'm learning to be successful in work.
I'm preparing for tomorrow.
Today, I'm a child and my work is play.

Anita Wadley

The Happenings.

So, what has going on in my life you might ask? Frankly, you probably don't really care. But, I'm going to tell you anyway. 

This week was....well, it was weird. I don't know. Still trying to figure out this semester. Lots of emotional ups and downs. Trying to motivate myself to do school. (It's not workin' out too well.) Lots of rain. Then some snow. Yeah.... it's just been weird.

Tonight I had the lovely opportunity to go to a movie with Jer and Kenz. We went and saw Joyful Noise. Wow. I was impressed. I would highly recommend  that you see it. It was a wonderful mix of music, humor, love, attractive people, and more humor. What made it even more delightful was that we were the only three in the theater. Yes, it was completely empty besides us. Fantastic. 

Also, tonight I got a surprise call from my best friend, Bethany. It was wonderful to hear her beautiful voice and talk about life. I miss her. A lot. 

I have applied to a few places for the summer. I really need to find a job. Wednesday, I got a call from one of those places.... they wanted to set up an interview. Oh, how exciting. I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe. 

This week I get to teach a lesson for my UTF job. Did I tell you that I am a UTF (Undergraduate Teaching Fellow)? Well, in case you didn't know, I will tell you right now. I am a UTF for an ELED 1010 class. I have my own office hours and I get to teach some lessons to the class. This week I get to teach a lesson about the Educational Autobiography that they will be writing. I'm really excited! I will tell you how it goes.

Every Friday at the Logan Institute there is a Religion In Life devotional. I love them. They bring in speakers who are past mission presidents, church authorities, institute professors, and other inspiring speakers. They are always great. This past Friday was no exception. Brother Todd McKenna spoke to us. He spoke to us about Faith. The whole thing was really inspiring, but one thing in particular stuck out to me. He talked about how sometimes we get disappointed or discouraged with our life or our situations. This is not okay! This is exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to be discouraged and unhappy with our lives. We cannot give into him! I need to work on this. Lately, I have often found myself discouraged with certain aspects of my life. I need to remember that God is over all and if I have faith in Him, things will always work out the way they are supposed to. I know this is true. Sometimes it is hard not to get discouraged. But I'm going to be better. 

Hold me to it. :)

Two months.

I miss your smile.

I miss your humor.

I miss your expectations.

I miss your optimism.

I miss your wisdom.

I miss your work ethic.

I miss your hugs.

I miss your encouraging words.

I miss your love.

I miss your impatience.

I miss your laugh.

I miss your quirks.

I miss your spirituality.

I miss your protectiveness.

I miss your strong, safe arms.

I miss you.

The Lake of Bear

Jer and I went on another photo adventure on Martin Luther King Day. We drive up to Bear Lake. We both wore a couple sweaters and sweatshirts. Wow. We were not expecting it to be as cold as it was. We practically froze. Anyway, it was so incredibly beautiful. Here are some pictures.

Frozen faces.

Photo Adventure :)

Yesterday Jer and I went on a photo adventure. Enjoy :)

Time to vent.

Sometimes I get upset when I watch romantic movies.
Sometimes I really miss you.
Sometimes I wish things went differently.
Sometimes I wonder what is going on.
Sometimes I want you back.
Sometimes I get frustrated with all the things I have to do.
Sometimes I pretend that everything is alright.
Sometimes I miss holding someone's hand.
Sometimes I think college is too hard.
Sometimes I wish.

But I always know that everything will work out. Not in my time. In the right time.

Boring?

Guess what Jerrica and I made? 

Yup, a bored jar. 

We modpodged in and then 

filled it with fun things to do if we are ever bored. 

Check it out.

Boys....

Had nice talk tonight with a couple roomies. We talked about the difficulty of relationships. We talked about how we want to meet guys but it doesn't really happen. We see guys that are cute and who we would like to get to know. It doesn't matter whether or not we exchange a few words with these men, nothing ever happens. They don't ask for their number and we most likely won't see them again. So how in the world are we supposed to meet guys? And once we meet them how do we become friends with them (because I believe that should definitely come first)? And then once we're friends with them how do we become close enough to tell them everything? And then once we're best friends how do we fall in love with each other?

I'll let you know when I find the answer.

Hello school.

I sorta kinda wish it was still Christmas break. I thought I was ready for school to start again. My classes are going to be more time consuming than I originally anticipated. It is going to be a lot of hard work. But....I am excited. I am going to learn a lot of really great things. The trick is going to be to keep motivating myself to work hard. I know I can do it. I think about how hard last semester was and how much time I spent in practicum or studying. I didn't think it would ever end. But it did. Quite quickly actually. And I enjoyed it for the most part. I can do this semester as well. It is going to be hard especially because motivation is always less in the Spring than it is in the Fall. Wish me luck.

 I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.... I know I can.

Today was a graham cracker and peanut butter kind of day. Complete with glass of milk.

Dear Logan,

I missed you. I missed my apartment. I missed my roomies. I miss having a schedule. I'm excited and anxious for school to start tomorrow. I'm glad I finally got all of my stuff unpacked. I'm excited for my new job. Thank you for being great.

It's good to be back.

Love Always,
Lauren

Christmas Break....the end.

Yesterday I ate some chocolate cake.
Today I went shopping with Jerrica. ;)
Tomorrow I go back up to Logan.

wOOT wOOT :)

Choose your words wisely.

"'I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you--just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down--not just when you're fun to be with. 'I love you' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them--asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping that you feel the same way for me."
~ Anonymous

14.

My baby brother is fourteen. And he is six feet tall. I know, ridiculous.

Also, he is one of my best friends. My "camo-man". We have always gotten along so well. We love playing Lego Star Wars on the xbox. When he was very little I gave him a stuffed puppy. It was his absolute favorite. He still has Puppy (long story). I like his curly hair. I don't have an older brother but I think he would beat up anyone who gave me trouble. I love this kid. 

Happy Birthday Spencer David Kasteler!

Inconceivable!

"No more rhymes and I mean it!"

"Does anybody want a peanut?"

If you know me well enough you know that The Princess Bride is one of my all-time favorite movies. If you don't know that....well, now you know.

"I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"

I could quote it for hours. So, I will just stop now.

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while."

I will pray.

I don't know what to do. My heart aches. I am brought to tears for your pain. I don't know how to help. I wish there was a way. But I know that there is not. There isn't anything I could say. Nothing I could do. That would make it better. I'm sorry. I wish I could. I wish I could take it away. I wish I could make everything right. I'm sorry I can't. The one thing I can do is pray. I will pray for you everyday. I will ask our Heavenly Father to help you. And I will ask him for opportunities I can help you. He is the only one who knows how to make things right. He knows why things happen and he knows that this will help us become stronger. Knowing that doesn't make it easy. But it is bearable. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. But for now. 

I will pray.

four blank canvases

on saturday i went into my apartment. i hadn't been there for two weeks. 

i walked into my room and what did i find? 

about thirty percent of my photos had fallen off my wall. 

i don't know why, 

but they just don't like to stick. 

so i decided, instead of trying to put them all back, 

i would find something else to decorate my wall. 

i just bought four canvases. 

i don't know what i'm going to do with them.

p.s. new years resolutions are still to be determined. stay tuned.

One month from today I turn twenty. No big deal.

2011-The Year of Our House

This year has been filled with so many ups and so many downs! I think it is cheesy that everyone writes things like "Thanks to all my family and friends for all their love and support this year. You guys have made it great." But this year....I honestly want to thank each and every person in my life. This year has been a hard one and there are so many people who have helped me through it. From kind notes on Facebook, to driving hundreds of miles to see me, to letting me cry in your arms, to encouraging me to keep pushing forward, the list could go on and on. I wish I could list each one of your names, but that is an impossible task, because I know that there are people who deserve to be on that list that I have never met, nor will I ever meet them. My heart is so grateful for you.

So I decided to look back and remember this year. Here are a few highlights. I hope you enjoy :)

Went skiing for the first time,
lost my phone skiing,
went to Lava Hot Springs with Jerrica, Jen, and Kenz,
photoshoot with Jer and Jen,
IWA Dance with Joshua Gathro,
drove to Idaho in the middle of the night with amazing friends,
turned 19 years of age,
went to St. George for the most amazing spring break ever with Jerrica, Kenzee, Jen, Josh, Richie, Fran, Caleb, and....Chris,
went skiing for the second time of my life,
started my blog,
continued to watch many friends open mission calls,
finished my first year of college,
went to the temple 8 times within 48 hours with Jer, Molly, and Michael,
went to Seven Peaks with Jer, Kenz, Richie, Michael, and Josh,
said goodbye to Michael for two years,
went on the most amazing vacation with my beautiful family to Alaska,
volunteered at Camp Hawkins with Bethie,
said goodbye to Richie,
worked for Okland Construction for the summer,
helped at a wedding,
said goodbye to Taylor, Ben, Josh, Fran, Caleb, Dallas, and Jaron,
went to dear Bo Pennington's Funeral,
went to the Park City Arts Festival with Dallin,
got a smartphone,
went night hiking with Tiffany,
hung out with my favorite six-year-old,
had an amazing time on trek,
got accepted into the Elementary Education program,
climbed and had a chance to operate a tower crane,
moved into Jones Hall,
started my third semester of college,
spontaneous trip to Logan to visit Molly,
got my heart broken,
camped in a cave with Mike, Cameron, Kevin, and Jer,
went to the paint dance,
went yard saleing with Jer,
seven weeks of practicum in the preschool,
went to a mustache party with Jer, Jen, Cameron, and Eric,
cleaned the sink at Angie's for the first time,
spent conference weekend with my family in a cabin,
skipped two weeks of school,
five weeks of practicum in second grade,
said goodbye to my best friend, my hero, my daddy,
finished my third semester of college,
got accepted into the Special Education Program,
got a job as a UTF for spring semester,
went to Tyler's farewell,
spent the holiday season with my family.

Well, there ya go. What a flood of memories! I cannot explain the growth that has come from this year! All of these incredible people and experiences have taught me so much about myself and about my life. Here are a bunch pictures from the year!