My thoughts on this Halloween night.

Old pictures and messages.
     Halloween vest. Compliments all around.
          Pocahontas.
               You wouldn't believe how many third graders do not know who she is.
                    Overwhelmed.
                         Spaghetti.
                              Witch's brew, mummy wrapping, pumpkin painting, Halloween bingo.
                                   I won't give up. Three times.
                                        Happy Halloween.
                                   Procrastination.
                              Red.
                         Conversations that remind you.
                    Tender emails.
               Missing them. Him and them and him and her and him and them.
          Tomorrow is November.
     November.
Maybe I will go to bed early tonight.

tih

Maybe I'm watching Titanic with my roomies.

Maybe I've eaten way too much candy today.

Maybe I did my hair today.

Maybe one of my friends came home from his mission today.

Maybe I'm freaking out about it a little bit.

Maybe I'm done with classes for the semester.

Maybe I have practicum tomorrow.

Maybe I went to a RS activity.

Maybe a friend came to visit today.

Maybe I went to the temple today.

Maybe I don't really have my life figured out right now.

Maybe I'm just trying to do my best.

Maybe I know that things will work out.

Maybe I'm happy.

Here's a little nugget of wisdom.

I really like my institute class and we talked about Mosiah 3:19 a little bit. I thought you might want to hear about it. This is all stuff that I need to work on and maybe something I say can touch your heart.

Mosiah 3:19
For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.

So what is with this natural man stuff? Well, it doesn't mean that when we are born we have a naturally carnal and evil nature. We become a "natural man" as we sin. The natural man is selfish and wants to change God's will.

So how do we get rid of this natural man who is an enemy to God? We yield to the spirit and submit to the will of our Father in Heaven.

Say you are driving down a road and you are coming to an intersection. If you go straight through the intersection you're heading straight toward sin. Right before the intersection there is a yield sign. What are you yielding to? The whisperings of the Holy Ghost. To yield literally means "to give way". So when you come to that intersection give way for the Holy Ghost, listen to the spirit. Don't blow through that intersection without listening to the Spirit that your Heavenly Father gave you.

Going through that intersection might not always lead you to sin. Maybe that road is a decision you are making. Even if the decision looks like a good thing and everything looks like it should work out, you still have to yield to the Spirit.

Becometh as a child. Submissive. Meek. Humble. Patient. Full of love.

Be "willing to submit to ALL things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [you]". Sometimes we think we know everything and think we know what is best for ourselves. Crazy, I know. But Heavenly Father sees the big picture, he knows what our potential is. Even though you don't understand His plan for you completely, SUBMIT. Trust in His judgement and trust in His Plan for you.

So I want to ask you. What is an area of your life you have a hard time submitting? Next time, just SUBMIT. Give way to the Spirit and God's will. You will find that if you submit once, it will be easier to submit again. Not to mention the blessings and joy that will come from putting God's will before your own.

Think about it: God is all powerful. His ways cannot be changed. That means, whether you like it or not his Will is going to prevail over yours. It is your choice what your attitude is towards His will. I say, accept and submit to His will. This is His plan. He will never lead you astray.

So there you go.

Have a great day! I love you all!

Thank you Brother Jacobs

Beautiful.

Sometimes your roommate looks at you and says, 

"Lauren, you look beautiful today. 

Well, you look especially beautiful today."

I think people need to be told they are beautiful more often. 

Especially on days when they don't try to be beautiful.

the whole world is covered in rain clouds

I'ts a beautiful day even though its dark out there.

You got sun on your face, take it with you everywhere.

It's amazing to me how someone else can find the light they need radiating in your eyes.

Its easy to forget how blessed we are when life's better when we remember.

It's like walking in sunlight when the whole world is covered in rain clouds.

You're walking in sunlight, finding the truth, living it out loud.

A friend.

She is a best friend.

She has a testimony of gold.

She is beautiful.

She lives way too far away from me.

She always know exactly what to say to me.

She is kind.

She loves me the way I am.

She has an amazing family.

She is patient. Even though she thinks she is not.

She loves sunflowers.

She is tall.

She says things to me that give me strength.

She is always there for me.

She is going to be a nurse.

She loves helping people.

She has a beautiful smile.

She has tremendous faith.

She makes me want to be better.

She wears red lipstick, sometimes.

She has a wonderful laugh.

She just turned 21.

A flood.

You know that moment when, 

you and your roommate

decide to watch a movie.

You decide to watch

The Parent Trap.

And even though

you haven't seen it in years

you can quote almost every line

and you enjoy every minute.

Not to mention,

it brings back a flood of memories.

It reminds you of some people.

And you remember wishing 

that you had a twin somewhere

in the world that you 

don't know about.

I like those moments.

Grateful.

I am grateful for a mom who gives the best advice.

I am grateful for sweats.

I am grateful for children who take my mind off of my own life.

I am grateful for roommates and best friends.

I am grateful for doctors and mono tests.

I am grateful for modern technology.

I am grateful for the gospel.

I am grateful for The Book of Mormon.

I am grateful for Oakcrest.

I am grateful for tears.

I am grateful for eternal families.

I am grateful for Logan.

I am grateful for giving advice that you know you should take yourself.

I am grateful for Utah State.

I am grateful for socks.

I am grateful for my liver and spleen.

I am grateful for prayer.

I am grateful for french braids.

I am grateful for fall leaves.

I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation.

I am grateful for bobby pins.

I am grateful for showers.

I am grateful for Teryaki sauce.

I am grateful for the priesthood.

I am grateful for my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

I am grateful for the sky.

I am grateful for love.

I am grateful for faith.

I am grateful for trust.

Mononucleosis

I have mono. 

Ew. 

The Kissing Disease.

Glad I finally know why I feel the way I do.

Don't worry, it's only contagious through saliva....

 But I can't afford to skip class.

Hopefully I can get lots of rest and still attend my classes.

And practicum.

2-4 weeks of being exhausted? Bring it on.

I'm turning it over to you.

I wanted to share this song with you and looked for it on YouTube but it is not there. So, I typed up the lyrics. ENJOY.

I've wrestle with demons and darkness.
I've wrestled with what has been lost.
I carry this crushing on my shoulders,
And try not to think of the cost.

It's more than a single decision.
It's giving a part of myself.
Its something I simply can't do on my own,
So i'm pleading with you for your help.

Again and again I've asked myself why,
I don't think that I have any tears left to cry.
My soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest.
I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best.
It hurts to move on from the place I am in,
But you understand where I've been,
And you reassure me its time to start over again.

I'm finally ready to listen.
I'm finally ready to hear.
Struggling to get to a place you can reach me,
Where peace can speak louder than fear.
I can't see the end of this story,
There's no way to know how it ends.
For now I let go and I trust you to lead me,
And show my heart where to begin.

Again and again I've asked myself why,
I don't think that I have any tears left to cry.
My soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest.
I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best.
It hurts to move on from the place I am in,
But you understand where I've been,
And you reassure me its time to start over again.

All of the pain and confusion I'm going through,
I'm turning it over to you,
Willing to trust it's the right thing to do.

Again and again I've asked myself why,
I don't think that I have any tears left to cry.
My soul is so tired, I'm longing for rest.
I'm giving my all and I'm doing my best.
It hurts to move on from the place I am in,
But you understand where I've been,
And you reassure me its time to start over again.

Again-Jessie Clark Funk

This wonderful thing we call a body.

I was sitting in class today and one of my peers was at the front of the class reading us a book. All of a sudden I thought of my eyes. I thought about how incredible my eyes are, that I can see her and the book that she is reading. I thought about how my brain can process what I am looking at. 

I had a wave of gratitude come over me. My body is wonderful. I think about all the amazing things that my body can do. It regulates my breathing, heart rate, and temperature among other things. My body can move in so many different ways. My skin protects everything inside of me. My heart pumps blood to my brain and the rest of my body. My muscles allow me to do more things than I can even comprehend. I eat food and my body takes that food, absorbs the nutrients, digests it, and gets rid of what it doesn't need. My body is capable of conceiving children. 

I can see. I can hear. I can touch. I can taste. I can smell. 

And what about my brain? And my immune system? And what about all those nerves and veins and bones?

Those are all things that most healthy people have. I haven't even started to mention the things that make me different from everyone else. I'm 5' 9". I have those weird optic nerves behind my eyeballs. I have wavy red hair that I love and got from my father. I am allergic to grass and many trees and weeds. I have freckles. I have my mother's brown eyes.

I am not an expert on the body. I actually know very little about it. But I know enough to know that it is amazing. I am incredibly grateful for my Heavenly Father who gave me this wonderful body.

Autumn.

I really love the season we call Autumn. 

Leaves changing.

Crisp air.

Bring out the sweaters and moccasins.

Time for cozy.

Leaf crunching.

Pumpkins and hot chocolate.

Change is in the air.

The world is getting ready for winter.

So then I wonder....what will this fall bring?

What will winter be like?

Mild like the last?

Or maybe a little more bitter.

I really love the season we call Autumn.