Here ya go, here is a piece of my heart.

Alrighty, so I have decided to share my essay with all my lovely blog readers. If you didn't get a chance to read the story behind the essay then click here and read under "Third Item of Business". This is very, VERY personal to me, but I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone might find some sort of comfort or peace from it's words. If you would like to comment, I would love to hear what you think about it. It is a little bit long but I sincerely hope that you enjoy it.

Here it is:
ENIGMA: By Lauren Kasteler

He was John Spilsbury, an engraver and mapmaker in London. In 1760 he decided to mount one of his maps to a sheet of hardwood. He then proceeded to cut around the borders of all the countries with a fine-bladed marquetry saw. His end product became an educational pastime known as puzzles that were used to teach children about geography. These jigsaw puzzles were mainly used as educational tools until about 1820. In the late 1800s puzzles made of plywood and cardboard were introduced. People soon figured out that you could make the pieces smaller and the puzzles would appeal to adults as well as children. Puzzles started to gain popularity as a pastime for entertainment rather than education.  

*

        “Lauren, I need you to come home this weekend. I need to see you.” It was Friday and I had just returned to my dormitory from lunch when I got the call. Something was wrong. I turned around and left the room because I had a feeling this was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of my roommate. I didn’t even stop to grab a pair of shoes. I went outside and started pacing. The weather was beautiful, the October sun was shining and the trees were painted shades of autumn. A chill ran down my spine as I felt the cool but welcome breeze. I asked him what was wrong. “I have cancer,” was his response.

He started telling me the few details the doctors had given him. He was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. The lesions had spread to his liver, back, and lymph nodes. That explained the back pain he had been having lately. He told me that without treatment the life expectancy is one year. With treatment the average life expectancy with his condition is three years. I got off the phone and didn’t know what to do so I walked around campus and cried for almost two hours. What do you do when you find out that your hero is diagnosed with cancer?

*

        I come to the sky bridge and see the reason I came here. A huge area of colors is on the wall up ahead. This isn’t anything like the other artwork that is displayed. This is The World’s Largest Puzzle. I finally reach it and stand back to look at the entire thing. So much is going on. Fish, planets, ocean, animals, sail boats, and hot air balloons are the first things I notice.

A frail looking lady walks by. Her face is covered in worry lines and wrinkles. She notices that I am looking at the puzzle so she turns her head to gaze at the work of art as she walks past. I wonder what is going on in her mind. What does she think about as she looks at the overwhelming detail in the artwork? She continues on her way and I resume looking at the puzzle.

There is a light house and a rainbow in the middle of the puzzle. It makes me wonder if each part of the puzzle has a special meaning. What was the artist thinking when he created this masterpiece?

*

According to the Oxford English Dictionary a jigsaw puzzle is defined as a puzzle formed by cutting into small irregular pieces (orig. with a jig-saw) a picture mounted on a sheet of wood, cardboard, or the like. Puzzle is defined as a puzzling or perplexing question; a difficult problem; a person who or thing which is hard to understand; an enigma. The Oxford English Dictionary also has another entry for puzzle: Something devised or made for the purpose of testing one’s ingenuity, knowledge, patience, etc.; a toy or problem of this kind.

Therefore, a jigsaw puzzle is a confusing and perplexing set of different shaped pieces that can only be put together in a certain way, created in order to test some one's patience, understanding, and cleverness. So why do humans enjoy giving themselves intricate and complex problems to solve?

*

It was 5:45 in the morning. Most people don’t want to wake up that early during winter break but I told my dad I would. He calls it “Poison Monday.” I got ready and gathered my laptop, a magazine, and my iPod. We got into the car and started on our way. We stopped at Phillips 66 so he could get a Diet Coke. A few hours later he would not be able to stand the cold temperature of a soda. My dad used to be the one who always turned up the air conditioner when everyone else wanted to curl up in a blanket.

        We finally pulled into the parking garage. We were a little early and the clinic was dark. The secretary arrived and we got checked in and waited for the nurse to call us back. Keen, my dad’s favorite nurse, came and took us to the back. The infusion center was coming to life. My dad chose chair seven because he likes the view out the window. He sat down in the tan recliner next to his pump and I sat down next to him. This was my first time at the infusion center and I was quite intrigued with everything that was happening. Keen washed her hands and accessed the port in his chest. She took his blood and then hooked him up to the machine to pump hydration fluids into his body. Then we had to wait for the blood work to come back.

        They checked his white blood cell count and other levels in his blood to make sure he was healthy enough to receive the treatment. When the results came back everything was good to go. Keen hooked him up to the machine again. This time, corrosive chemotherapy drugs dripped into his system instead of the harmless and even helpful hydration fluids.

*

On the right of the puzzle is a plaque. I walk over to read what it says. “Life by Royce B. McClure.” I can’t help but think about the significance of word “Life” in this place. Isn’t that one of the things humans want the most, a long, prosperous life? I strive to live my life to the fullest. But what if I was told that my life would be shortened? How would I cope with that news? What would I tell my family?

The next thing the plaque says is, “The world’s largest jigsaw puzzle-24,000 pieces.” I remember the last time I put together a puzzle that had 500 pieces. I cannot even imagine assembling a puzzle 48 times larger.

“Built by James Huffman, age 18 (2009).” This puzzle was put together by someone who is younger than I am. How does an eighteen-year-old kid have the patience to construct a 24,000 piece puzzle? It says that he was assisted by his brothers Christopher and Mark and that all three of the boys are the grandsons of Jon M. and Karen Huntsman. That explains the puzzle’s connection to this place.

The plaque says that the easiest part to build was the animals and the most difficult part was the underwater city. Underwater city? I don’t even remember there being an underwater city. I look and sure enough, in the bottom right hand corner, there is an underwater city. I can see why that was the hardest part. The pieces are all different shades of blue. After studying the underwater city for a few minutes I look back at the plaque.

“Jon M. Huntsman bought this puzzle in Los Angeles as a joke for his grandsons, never dreaming they would finish it.” I would laugh in my grandfather’s face if he handed me a 24,000 piece puzzle. The task to build it would be very daunting, especially for an eighteen-year-old. Yet I find that I am grateful that James took his grandfather’s challenge to construct the world’s largest puzzle.

James even said, “I would build it again tomorrow.” I’m sure that James had an incredible experience building the puzzle despite the difficulty and the hundreds of hours it took to complete. I think again of the title “Life”.  Life is fragile and takes a lot of work.  I wonder if at the end of “Life” we will say “I would build it again tomorrow.”

*

When humans have a lot on their mind they need some way to relieve the stress and tension, a way to get their mind off of their troubles. Different people have different ways they find useful to combat stress. Some people read, some exercise, some meditate, and some people pull out their jigsaw puzzles. The Great Depression was a huge anxiety that people definitely didn’t want to think about. Puzzles helped people cope with their stress in a variety of ways.

The Great Depression brought on a puzzle craze in the United States. The puzzle peak was in 1933 when sales reached ten million per week. In 1932 the “Jig of the Week” was started. The weekly jigsaw puzzle sold for 25 cents and people rushed to buy them and be the first of their friends to complete it.  

Puzzle themes were also very influential during the Great Depression. According to Mary Jane, in her article “The History of Wooden Puzzles,” the puzzles reflected “sentimental scenes, curiosity for technology, and the industry for railroad and shipping for marketing purposes.” These themes provided an escape from hard economic troubles and unemployment.

        During hard times it is also nice to have someone you can trust whom you can turn to. More times than not, your family can provide the support you need. The jigsaw puzzle helped to hold families together during the Great Depression. The family could sit together, grow closer, and gain strength from each other as they worked on a puzzle.

Completing a jigsaw puzzle also gave a person a sense of accomplishment that wasn’t often found when unemployment was over twenty-five percent. Instead of going to movies, restaurants, and night clubs, people would sit at home and work on puzzles. Anne D. Williams, the leading American authority on jigsaw puzzles, believed that this escape gave people an opportunity to succeed in a modest way. Any hardship can become just a tiny bit easier or any worry can be relieved when you have a way to alleviate some of the stress.

*

        I was having a bad day. It was the summer before I came to college. The weather was warm, sunny, and dry. I was dealing with some friend drama, had a bad day at work, and was stressed about going to college and moving out. All I wanted to do was be alone in my room. Dad wouldn’t let that happen. Mom let him know that I had been having a bad day so he came into my room and said, “Let’s go get some ice cream.” I don’t know if I was just overly emotional that day but this simple gesture brought tears to my eyes. We got into my car and he asked me where I wanted to go.

I drove down 12300 South and he asked, “What is on your mind?” It all came pouring out. I told him of my bad day at work and how frustrated I was with my job. I told him of the problems I had been having with my friends, how I was concerned about them and the choices they were making. I told him how I felt like I was growing apart from them. It hurt my heart to feel this disparity and separation from them. He just listened. Then, when I was finished, he assured me that everything was going to be okay. “You only have a couple weeks left, and then you can start out new in Logan” he told me. He told me that it was alright that I was growing apart from my friends. We were all going our separate ways, to different colleges, to different futures. Even though it hurt, he reassured me that everything would work out in the end.

We arrived at Cold Stone. I ordered my usual: “Birthday Cake Remix.” He ordered his usual: vanilla with Heath Bar pieces. We went outside to the back of the building and found a table. We didn’t talk anymore about my stresses of the day, for which I was truly grateful. We talked about other things, joked around, and discussed upcoming events.

He held my hand and gave me a hug. He comforted me in ways that no one else really can. Even though my problems were quite small, my daddy knew that they were important to me at the time. How insignificant and silly those problems seem now, as he is fighting the biggest fight that he has ever encountered.

*

After I finish reading the plaque I stare back at the puzzle. This time, I study it from up close. I see many other things that I never noticed the first time I glanced at it.

On the left there are all the different animals: flamingos, hippos, giraffes, elephants, zebras, monkeys, lions, tigers, penguins, bears, camels, horses, donkeys, cheetahs, lions, ducks, seals, walruses, lizards, beavers, swans, pelicans, foxes, turtles, kangaroos, snakes, raccoons, and even some animals I recognize but can’t remember their names. There is even an animal that looks slightly like a prehistoric reptile, a dinosaur. I wonder why the artist would put an extinct animal in a painting entitled “Life”. Maybe it represents a conclusion. That at some point life must come to an end. On the other hand, maybe it shows that life never ends. Maybe the whole painting represents the artist’s depiction of the life extending beyond death and that even extinct animals will live in harmony with all creatures.

At the bottom of the painting the ocean is full of color. I don’t know the names of all the fish and sea creatures but I am in admiration of all the different shapes, colors, and sizes. Each one is unique and has a different expression. There is so much life in their eyes and I can almost see their personality through their facial expressions. The color and variety is incredible. This brings me back to the underwater city and I am in amazement once again of the detail. Then I get to thinking, “There isn’t any life in this underwater scene. The buildings are all abandoned and broken. The bridge and the statues are in pieces. What happened to this city? Why is it abandoned? Where did the life go that was once there?”

The space section is majestic and magical.  There are so many dreamlike shapes and colors. There are stars, galaxies, nebulas, and many more space creations of which I don’t know the names. There are many planets, more than just the nine I learned about in elementary school. It makes me think about how life is so much bigger than you and I. There are so many of God’s creations that are out there. It makes me and my burdens feel very inconsequential.

Finally, the center of the puzzle includes a lighthouse. There is a swarm of butterflies flying around the lighthouse. Butterflies are exuberant and full of life. They grow up as tiny little caterpillars and at some point they envelop themselves in a cocoon. They emerge as stunning new creatures. They are ready to explore the world and are changed for the better.

There is a huge rainbow above the lighthouse and animals. As I look closer I notice that it is actually a double rainbow. There is another, more faint rainbow above. Rainbows remind me how incredible God and his creations are. After a horrible storm God creates a rainbow to show the world that everything is going to be alright. Seeing this rainbow in the puzzle reminds me that everything will work out. The rain doesn’t last forever and with my Heavenly Father’s help I can face any obstacle that comes my way. He loves me and is always there when I need him the most. Storms pass, and the world becomes new.

Works Cited

"History of The Jigsaw Puzzle." Welcome to Berkshire Puzzle Co. Jigsaw Puzzles. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.berkshirepuzzles.com>.

Jane, Mary. "The History of Wooden Puzzles." EHow | How To Do Just About Everything! 6 June 2010. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.ehow.com>.

McAdam, Daniel. "Puzzle History." American Jigsaw Puzzle Society. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.jigsaw-puzzle.org>.

Simpson, J. A., E. S. C. Weiner, and Michael Proffitt. Oxford English D ictionary. Oxford [England: Clarendon, 1993. Print.

Williams, Anne D. "Jigsaw Puzzle History - The History of the Jigsaw Puzzle - Anne D. Williams - Jigsaw Puzzles History and Origins." MGC Custom Made Wooden Jigsaw Puzzles. Web. 22 Mar. 2011. <http://www.mgcpuzzles.com>.

Oh, and to those of you who read it, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.